Free raffle contest!

I have just obtained something very valuable, but it's a secret! If you want to win, just post here with the funniest joke you can think of. I will base the winner completely on my own sense of humor.

This contest is to try and make some of our inactive users take part and not be hiding in thier caves all day,however anybody can participate(that means you, fellow allies!).

"Due to a sudden development, only people that have signed on to this forum 'before' the raffle contest may participate."

*Makes an angry face* EDIT!

This contest will be active until June 8th, 5:00 PM Game Time.

why isnt mexico in the olympics, because all the mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the US
[im mexican btw XD]

ffcloud wrote:

why isnt mexico in the olympics, because all the mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the US
[im mexican btw XD]

XD That's a good one!

Just a Helen Keller joke lol >.< . It's a little sick.


Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

























So you can read her lips!



I have some racist jokes but I just don't feel right saying them hahaha.

Not sick, there's nothin' wrong wit' a little good camel toe.

Ok ok ok.......heres a little story. This may be really disturbing if ur 12 and under.

Theres a man and a nun in a bus. The man thinks the nun is the most beautiful woman in the world. The man asks the nun if they can have sexual intercourse together, but the nun refuses because she is a nun and she cant lose her virginity. Dissapointed, the man talks to the bus driver. The bus driver tells the man a plan. The bus driver tells the man that the nun goes to pray in the graveyard every tuesday, and if the man dresses as God and tells nun to have sexual intercourse wit him in the butt, then the nun wont lose her virginity. So the following tuesday, the man(dressed as GOD) goes to the graveyard and tells the nun to do it in the butt. The nun agrees. So as they're doing it in the butt, The man takes off his GOD mask and says"Haha, i was the man on the bus!" Then, the nun takes off her mask and says"Haha, i was the bus driver!"

When i first heard this joke, i was like

trying.. to writ. while luaghng.. hahaha

Edit: I calmed down.

That was very well done!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Along the same line as the last joke, but it was funny. XD

To Havoc: The joke was funny, but I felt like I heard the same one over again, therefor lower it's quality.

To everyone: there's going to be a lot of compitition, if you'd like to submit a different joke, I'll allow it. HOWEVER if you're next joke isn't more funny than your last one, then you chances of winning will decrease, in other words, I'll only consider your last joke when I decide if you're the winner or not.

Vincent wrote:

therefor lower it's quality.

Therefor lowering it's quality

Please promo me soon so I can edit my posts....

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman sinks just off shore of a deserted island.

After being stranded for one month, the woman says “I can not proceed in this manner,” and commits suicide.

One month later, the sailors say “We can not proceed in this manner,” and they bury the woman.

After another month, the sailors say “We can not proceed in this manner,” and they dig up the woman.

Good, but too expected, throw in a little bit of the unforeseen. Something that'll make me say, woah, wait, WHAT!! XD

It would be funny if the valuable item was like a rusty key or severed hand.

No, lol, I'm not a liar, if I said it was a good item, it's a good item(At the very least 'I' think it's good)

Due to wiz's notifacation of this contest to other people, I'm forced to limit this to people that are friends to this community, not just some guy that wants a free prize. I'll not say how I'll know you just came for the prize, I'll just know.

I won't notify you of your disqualification either.

C'mon people! Get active! >

> : (

What's worse than 1 baby stapled to a tree?






















1 baby stapled to 10 trees.

It had the woah, wait, what quelity, but not the haha part.... yeeeaaaahh o.0

there are three guys going on a road trip.A mexican, A black guy and a white guy.
They end up going through AZ and getting stuck out in the desert due to a sand storm.They see a big farm out in the middle of this huge valley and its lush and green and there is a house.and they say to each other "hey maybe they have a phone..or we could just get something to eat." so they decide to go pay this little oasis a visit.So they walk up the porch and knock on the door. ::knock Knock:: "hello?" an old man peeks out through the peep hole. "hey" the friends say "we were wondering if we could stay the night here or use the phone..anything we got stuck out in this sand storm and we're tired and hungry." the old man said "sure..you can stay here as long as you want...so long as you dont touch my daughter...or else I'll make you pick your favorite fruit out of my garden". they say okay.later the friends agree that the bitch is hot and is in need of a deep dick'n and besides..whats so bad about picking fruit?..and two hours later the mexican,black guy and white guy are giving the farmers daughter Boston pancakes[see wikipedia or urban dictionary for definition]. so the old man finds out and he tells them "okay,go get six of your favorite fruit" and so they all go out and the white guy comes in first..and he brings in cherries and the old man says "okay now shove all those cherries up your ass" and he does..then the mexican comes in and he brings in grapes and he too has to shove them up his ass..but as he is doing this he laughs and laughs and pretty soon the white guy joins in..the old man asks what is so funny and they reply
"the black guy is out picking watermelons!"

Uh... Once again, it had the woah wait what quality, but it was lacking in the funny department.

P.S. The contest is over...